Monthly Archives: April 2015

feisty for $25

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feisty for $25

twenty five dollars changes hands over my head
dirty blue and white striped mattress
iron headboard
hot, heavy air
sweaty, dirty man
hands bound to the headboard
my body twists away
my feet kick fast, furious
i fight
with all that i am, i fight
with a chuckle he says
“just what i ordered. i like me some feisty”
my 5 year old brain scrambles in horror
my fight is desirable, enticing
how can i not fight?
fight or no fight, he wins
he unties me
tells me to run for the road
i fall, twist my ankle on the broken, dry dirt
grandpa is there
he chuckles at my tears, my fear
he carries me to the car

angela clark
04/2015
http://www.iamangela.org

I share this poem today to celebrate my truth, my freedom, and my healing. And to acknowledge that it is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. My birthday is today. I am in the mountains singing and dancing with my whole being. Finding joy on a regular basis for the first time in my life.

I believe there are others from northern, rural Iowa from the early 70’s that had this experience. It is time we do all we can to stop these crimes. Even though it was 42 years ago, I want to do what I can to stop children from being sold for sex in every part of the world. Let’s start in our families and our neighborhoods. It starts by talking about it. Openly and honestly.

Help me celebrate healing and consider giving $25 to http://givebackyoga.org/donate-today  I volunteer with this organization and tremendous healing can happen through yoga.

Thank you for hearing my story and honoring my voice.

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Yoga of Self-Care #8 Moving Forward Using Anger

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Yoga of Self-Care #8 Moving Forward Using Anger

I have a ton of fun hosting family and friends out here in beautiful Colorado. We often visit trails and mountains that are new to me too. Recently all the fun I had in a mountain adventure was sucked away in a vacuum of anger just a few minutes into our drive down the mountain. I use all experiences – good and bad – to grow and learn more about myself.

I have known for several years now that I don’t allow to have enough healthy anger to have a voice in my life. Here is the beginning of my anger working for me. I have a new boundary. I feel compelled to publish it – it is good practice for saying it out loud to all the people that plan to visit this summer.

If you are visiting me and you feel it is important to tell me how to live my life better than I am, I will walk you to the door. Our visit will end at that moment, especially if I didn’t ask for your opinion. If you cannot have an insightful, open, intelligent dialogue with me respecting my choices, you are out. I will be direct with every person that plans on coming a long distance to spend time with me. If you happen to live locally, its not such a hardship to get your ass home.

I have navigated questions about my soul’s eternal destiny and many of my lifestyle choices with love and compassion for many years now and I am not going to be so nice and peaceful anymore. Now I am pissed that people I know and love cannot love me for who I am – they insist on trying to change me. That is not love.

My request is quite simple: Leave my choices alone. Give me the same respect you want of me for your lifestyle choices. I love my current life. My spirituality is sacred to me – anyone that attacks what I believe, is attacking me. I won’t stand for it anymore. Choose your words wisely in my company or you will find yourself back home sooner than planned.

For years anger has frozen me. It was a learned behavior to repress my anger. I have feared that letting anger out would be catastrophic to me and those that I love – my anger seemed bigger than me. I am experiencing healthy responses to my healthy anger and it feels great!

I understand the importance of honoring all of who I am – even the Angry Angela. In fact, allowing anger to flow through me in a timely and appropriate way is a natural and beautiful response to have present in my daily life. Bottled up and repressed anger is toxic, like an oil spill, to my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

I don’t want to smell like toxic shit anymore.