Category Archives: being afraid

Personal violence is disruptive no matter how brief the exposure.

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Personal violence is disruptive no matter how brief the exposure.

As I tell my story of sexual trauma and exploitation, others often share with me that they have a story of abuse too, and then they hastily add, “It’s not as bad as yours. It was just one time. Or one perpetrator. Or a long time ago. Or, Or, Or…..

I always reply with this: Own your story. Your story matters too. Painful stories are not to be placed on a scale. Pain is pain. Assault, rape, abuse – it deserves its own space in your story. Personal violence is disruptive no matter how brief the exposure.

This journey has taught me there are just different traumas, however, each is painful and debilitating. Each requires courage to face. No doubt your trauma left a mark on you. Depression, trust, intimacy hang-ups, body issues, self-harm patterns, and the list goes on.

If someone tells me they have cancer, I have just as much empathy for them as I do the person with sexual assault. Cancer is no picnic! And, after walking the road with some dear friends, they tell me it feels like a betrayal from their own body. And, I have heard that from sexual trauma victims too. The emotions that arise from our painful stories are actually more similar than we realize. It’s just the roots that are different.

Another response is folks that say, “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.” Well, there are a lot of other painful situations that I can’t imagine either. Again: pain is pain.

I’m giving you permission to carry your painful stories gently and reverently. Own them, become comfortable with them, and they will, eventually, ask less of you over time.

From another perspective, if you or I minimize our stories then we are minimizing someone else’s story that resembles ours. There are, unfortunately, thousands of stories of assault and abuse from priests, church leaders, teachers, coaches, Boy/Girl Scout leaders, trainers, medical professionals, and next door neighbors.

Each breach of boundary is important to acknowledge – it leads us define what a healthy boundary feels like.

I’ve been the first witness to long held secrets many times now. And what I can tell you is that keeping it locked up inside is a form of denial. It doesn’t mean you need to take a public stance and tell the world, it means you open up to those closest to you that love you. You become vulnerable with trusted people in your life.

Perhaps you just quietly say “Me Too” in the mirror to practice being honest with yourself. Open your journal and write it out – yes, this happened, this is part of my story. Send yourself an email with the subject line: Me Too and see how it feels to see it in black and white in your handwriting, and/or on your computer screen. Perhaps you decide to sit with a therapist or other trauma professional to unpack this old story that has layers of dust covering it up.

Then, when you feel you’ve gathered your strength around this event, you can open up to those closest to you.

I do believe it’s important to tell the story to folks that are safe. Reclaiming our voice after silence is an empowering action. Chances are that silence has cost you something.

The last consideration I will share is this: silence has allowed this rape culture to become epidemic. If I’d been able to find my words, it might have saved victims that came after me. I’ll never know because I didn’t find my words until my grandfather had been dead for 20 years.

Here are the hard stats: the average perpetrator has 117 victims in his/her lifetime – our silence has allowed them to continue harming. THIS is why the stats also tell us that 1 in 5 children have experienced sexual assault by the age of 18. THIS is criminal and epidemic. My friends with breast cancer have a 1 in 8 chance of having breast cancer by the time they are 88 years old – and breast cancer has been an epidemic for 20 years.

It’s time for sexual violence to be declared an epidemic too. We can change these statistics. Let’s do better for our children. Let’s do better for each other.

Angela
p.s. If you want to read about my story,you can dig around in this blog OR you can wait for my book! “The Other F Word, My Manual on Forgiveness.” Sign up for my email list here: http://www.thekiinside.com – it will be available on amazon for pre-order soon.

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Are you Happy this New Year? Now that the party is over,

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Are you Happy this New Year? Now that the party is over,

are you excited about your life and opportunities? Would you like to learn something new? Tell a new truth? Live a more creative life? What lights you up? Are you clear on your goals, ambitions, desires for the coming year? January is THE month to get clear and set solid intentions for 2018. It’s a wide open space ahead! Are you interested in co-creating this year instead of simply allowing things to unfold? Are you part of the #metoo movement and unsure of what is next to help you heal?

Coaching is a fantastic way to gain clarity and momentum – are you curious or ready?

I spent many years in a simply allowing space and once I realized the power of clearly and directly stating my desires for my life, I was hooked. My life radically changed. For years I had listened to teachers and coaches that didn’t encourage me to be BOLD in my requests and vision. More and more the message I share is, “Do you love what you do? If not, let’s get you there!”

I love my job as a life coach. I get to talk about Emotional Freedom, Brain Training, Neuroplasticity, Self-Compassion, Self-Care, Love & Acceptance of Self, Listening to the Inner Voice, Owning Our Truth, Vision Boards, and how to navigate the world in a safe and nurturing way. How to be sure your voice is heard, your needs are met, and your creativity thrives. I also get to talk about marketing and fun business ideas for entrepreneurs.

Life is a puzzle – finding the right piece to fit in the right spot that gives us a landscape that we enjoy. We often have to expand our horizons, think outside the box, and learn something new for a better fit in our lives.

I get excited listening to someone that is looking for a new way to do an old thing. My brain starts looking for solutions while clients talk.

I’ve got lots new experiences for me in 2018: First up is a TEDx Talk titled, “What To Do After #metoo”, several podcast interviews, magazine articles, guest blog posts, and I’m publishing a book, “The Other F Word, My Manual on Forgiveness” – I’ve got momentum!

I’m excited about life and opportunities to do what brings me joy and lights me up.

It would be an honor to be part of your sacred journey. I really do love supporting people to find joy, love, and acceptance in periods of upheaval or change or just adding some momentum to a business goal.

I can help you be bold, be courageous to live the life you have dreamed of. Email me if you want to know more about how to coach with me. I have a couple of openings available right now.

Cheers to a Radically Blessed 2018!

angela

There’s A New Guest at the Holiday Table: #metoo

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There’s A New Guest at the Holiday Table: #metoo

Me Too sits awkwardly silent, afraid to cause a ripple in the traditions of cheer and joy. Me Too feels like a single word will bring the party down. Suddenly, that confident voice that finally said, “Me Too” is self-conscious and already choosing to stay home next year. Me Too is afraid this time of year will never be the same.

An entire day goes by with everyone else carefully avoiding getting too close. Me Too feels ashamed, unwanted, unseen, ignored, and most of all, isolated.

For many of the new voices in the Me Too movement, a holiday season is anything but joyful. I know, I’ve been there. I was living in my trauma day in and day out – trauma pain doesn’t take a holiday. It felt as though I’d brought home a new pet elephant for everyone to meet. But my family didn’t know how to even say hello to the elephant. I left those experiences wishing I knew how to interrupt their discomfort and avoidance. And I felt like the burden wasn’t really mine – I needed my family to choose differently. Often my choice is to not attend. It’s just easier than bringing along my elephant.

This is how rape culture has grown into the crisis it is, by us not knowing how to talk about things that matter with those we spend the holidays with. Even the best therapists are going to say this isn’t easy. It’s not easy because we haven’t been practicing it. It’s not easy because we are afraid to say the “wrong” thing.

Take a deep breath, say things out loud to yourself in the mirror and it will be easier – especially because the rewards are so immense. As family systems start to choose differently, the rewards are in the strength and intimacy that comes from walking through difficult times together.

Here are some variations of what I’ve imagined my family saying to me:
I can’t imagine what you are going through right now. I’m glad you chose to come and spend time with us. If you want to talk for a few minutes at any time today, let’s find a quiet spot so I can listen.

I’m glad you are here and that I love you. Because of all the activity and kids running around, it might be difficult to actually talk without interruption today. Let’s schedule time this week, I want to give you undivided attention. I know your self-care is strong and I’m proud of you for breaking the silence.

I can only imagine how hard it is to come to a “party” environment when you are facing such pain. I’m glad you are here. Let’s keep taking a deep breath together and enjoy being with each other today. If you need a few moments to yourself at any time, this room would be a quiet place. Come and ask me to join you if you want to talk or just need my presence.

Using your words, reach out to that loved one and say, “I believe you.” “I see you.” “I hear you.” “I honor you.” “I love you.”

Above all, remember that Me Too is still a daughter/son, brother/sister, aunt/uncle, nephew/niece, cousin, mother/father, grandparent, and friend. And they need you now more than ever.

It’s time to be vulnerable and loving, even during the holidays.

Are We Broken?

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Are We Broken?

Remember that time when you thought your cancer would break you? Your divorce? Your child’s crisis? The death of a loved one? That rape? That abusive relationship? What if this presidential outcome is America’s cancer? What if it is an opportunity to go through chemo and radiation and hair loss and find ourselves again – individually and collectively?

Do you remember the day when you realized you had survived? And then the day that you could finally say you were thriving? Perhaps even finding appreciation for the lessons learned in the space of pain?

To move to a place of surviving and thriving, you had to find a source of strength that you didn’t even know you owned. You had to rely on the love and support of friends and family. You had to own the feeling of broken to find whole again.

Somewhere in that process you gave yourself permission to be different than you were before. More of YOU emerged. You were more honest, more forthright, more authentic, more empowered, more mindful, and more compassionate. You chose to take more risks, more adventures, and have more fun.

Those around you have said things like, “She is different now. Ever since the ______, she is living life more fully. Sometimes I think she is crazy, but she is incredibly happy.”

I know. I have done this many times in my life, just like you.

This time is no different. Dig deep, find the strength that you know is there for these times. I find a simple strength in the rising of the sun. No matter what has happened, she rises, gloriously to face another day. Her consistency reminds me that I can rise each day and be fierce and resilient while shining brightly. Remind yourself of what feeds your determination.

Give yourself permission to volunteer with any population that may feel unsupported today. Give yourself permission to start up a non-profit helping to meet the needs of an underserved population in your area.

Find YOUR fierceness that will keep your fires burning for the changes that must happen in America. Be part of the solution and don’t give up hope. Press forward with determination that LOVE MATTERS and will prevail.

Attacking the institution, the process, the President elect really does not serve the greater good. Have your temper tantrum and MOVE ON to being your best self. Ghandi said it so well, of course, “Be the change you wish to see.”

Rise Up and Be Love. Step Into Kindness with Each Step. Bring In Strength and Purpose with Every Breath.

Yes, Samantha, You Are In The Flow

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Yes, Samantha, You Are In The Flow

I hope you get on this site soon Samantha. We met last night in a serendipitous turn of events and had a lengthy conversation covering so many topics. I want you to know that you are in the flow of life and more importantly, you are the flow. And, you inspired my flow here on my blog.

I have been where you are and when so many doors close then it is easy to reach out and close more of them – making the assumption that this is the outcome that will happen anyway, so let’s just get it over with. It becomes an instinct to hesitate walking through another door, fearful that it will close on our nose too.

You are resilient and strong. Just from a 2 hour conversation, I know this about you. Be bold. Put yourself out there again with your voice and your musical gifts and say Yes when doors begin to open.

We talked about Efforting vs. Being. Efforting is when we struggle to make things happen, exhausting ourselves, and sometimes others, in the process. Being is allowing action steps to be inspired and intentional that feel good rather than heavy and burdensome. Our to-do list comes from our mental mind more than our heart when we are full of efforting – and we feel weary when we think about doing these things. When we shift into having our heart engaged, we shift into inspired actions that leave us feeling excited and hopeful.

You are a beautiful being that I am happy to have met you in the alley behind Goodwill on a lovely Friday night in Boulder, CO. Start asking yourself, what if I am doing everything right? What if I am right where I am supposed to be all the time? What if this experience is to help me learn more about me and about the world around me? What if this is to help me grow and stretch myself in ways that I cannot imagine?

Stay tuned, Samantha for posts about other things that we spoke of that I feel compelled to share here –  neoroplasticity, pain and letting go, movement and stillness, there are no guarantees, why did this happen to me?, travel and serendipity of events, and more. Thank YOU for showing up and getting my voice rolling again – YOU inspired me to publish some shit!

You are having a Great Life Samantha. Enjoy.

Love, Angela

 

feisty for $25

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feisty for $25

twenty five dollars changes hands over my head
dirty blue and white striped mattress
iron headboard
hot, heavy air
sweaty, dirty man
hands bound to the headboard
my body twists away
my feet kick fast, furious
i fight
with all that i am, i fight
with a chuckle he says
“just what i ordered. i like me some feisty”
my 5 year old brain scrambles in horror
my fight is desirable, enticing
how can i not fight?
fight or no fight, he wins
he unties me
tells me to run for the road
i fall, twist my ankle on the broken, dry dirt
grandpa is there
he chuckles at my tears, my fear
he carries me to the car

angela clark
04/2015
http://www.iamangela.org

I share this poem today to celebrate my truth, my freedom, and my healing. And to acknowledge that it is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. My birthday is today. I am in the mountains singing and dancing with my whole being. Finding joy on a regular basis for the first time in my life.

I believe there are others from northern, rural Iowa from the early 70’s that had this experience. It is time we do all we can to stop these crimes. Even though it was 42 years ago, I want to do what I can to stop children from being sold for sex in every part of the world. Let’s start in our families and our neighborhoods. It starts by talking about it. Openly and honestly.

Help me celebrate healing and consider giving $25 to http://givebackyoga.org/donate-today  I volunteer with this organization and tremendous healing can happen through yoga.

Thank you for hearing my story and honoring my voice.

Day 6: The Yoga of Self-Care

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Day 6: The Yoga of Self-Care

Why am I writing about self-care? All I had learned and understood was how to live in survival mode which is chaos and mayhem. Very exhausting. Self-care was a vague and foreign concept – something I am still cultivating an understanding within myself. I believe listening to my body is the foundation for learning how best to take care of myself. It has taken me years to develop healthier habits. And I am still very much a work in progress. Consistency is my challenge. I find myself in a state of resistance or flat out self-sabotage regularly.

There are so many reasons why we, as a culture, resist premium self-care habits in the midst of our platinum and luxurious lives. In my opinion, the lives we are working so hard to maintain, are layers of distraction for avoiding ourselves. I am ready for something different.

I choose to give myself permission to take extraordinary and exquisite care of myself. I give you permission to do it too.

Why all this emphasis on yoga? It spoke to me. Attending weekly Trauma Sensitive Yoga classes taught me what consistency meant for my body. Anytime I see a mat, I feel my body hum. It longs to spend more time on the mat in various states of rest and stretching.

TRAUMA YOGA

Contrary. Oxymoron.
Like me.
Two halves that should not fit.
But must reside in the same body.
The wounded half. The healed half.
I wonder, “How is this yoga different?
My curiosity invites me.
My trauma qualifies me.
My trauma body shows up.
Longing to find my yoga body.

No Eastern ambiance.
Just a conference room.
Filled with a sense of safety.
Created just for me.
And the millions of eligible souls.
Small classes, by design.
No challenge for perfecting the pose.
No call for deepening the experience.
My eyelids shutter closed.

It is just me and the teacher’s calm voice.
My body responds with a small rocking motion.
My self-soothing visits each pose.
Resources on Suicide Prevention keep me company during tree pose.
I smirk at the irony.
Memories of my 15-year vigil with Suicide.
And now I am doing yoga with Suicide.

Several weeks go by uneventfully.
Then my whole being hears the word “choice.”
My body shudders in response.
My mind keeps repeating:
Choice, choices, choice, choices, choice, choices
This is my awakening
I can move a little
Or a lot
Or not at all
The past is not here

Today means
No violent authority
No need to resist
No one holding me down
No one demanding, expecting
It is just me

I immerse myself in the experience of safety and choice
Body memories spasm and sputter, ready to escape
Captive no more
A spinal twist wrings out ancient tears

Yoga connects me to my body
Helps me feel whole
Shows me the path of gentleness
I begin to see a wider landscape of the future
To feel more freedom than pain
To resemble healing more than trauma

Only a teacher than understands
Trauma is ready to witness the depth of my pain
Only a teacher that understands
Yoga will appreciate the stretch of my courage
Today
I practice
The Yoga of Courage
I practice
The Yoga of Choice
I practice
Freedom Yoga

Photo, of the author in tree pose, is by http://www.brittripleyphotography.com/

Previously published on http://givebackyoga.org/trauma-sensitive-yoga-for-rape-survivors-reflections-from-a-poet

This is part 6 of a 7 part series on self-care.

Day 5: The Yoga of Self-Care

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Day 5: The Yoga of Self-Care
1. Remember to notice your breath and how it changes with situations, emotions, triggers, people.
2. Add an intention that includes something that feels miraculous to you right now. Miracles happen.
3. Nothing ever gets resolved with out ACTION. Run, walk, dance, jig or two-step your way into movement.
4. Being willing to seek out the root of your shit-storm is HUGE. Give yourself a big hug and eat some ice cream. Call on a friend and professionals.
5. This self-help method can be used anywhere with any problem.
Massage therapists always say: The issues are in the tissues. I agree – our body holds much wisdom and has a memory far more powerful than we probably know. It is incredibly important to honor, honor, honor what the body has to say during any healing process. This is one method I use in my 1 on 1 healing sessions frequently. There are many methods – use what works for you. I do encourage folks to do this on their own and when receiving care from a chiropractor, acupuncturist, yoga class, meditation time, massage therapist, dancing, etc. There are a gazillion ways to heal and this can be used and adapted for just about any modality.
Sit quietly and note where in the body you feel pain, discomfort, soreness, tightness, etc.
Set intention to be able to hear the message(s) your body has for you and make a clear direct statement that you are seeking wisdom from your body and are willing to hear what it has to say. Do your best to empty your mind and create space for the message(s) to come in without judgement. Use your breath to clear and absorb several times throughout the process.
You can hold, tap, or massage the sensitive point you have identified. As you begin to do this, see what situations, people, relationships, thoughts come to mind.  Allow the tears, anger, frustration, jealousy, etc. anything that surfaces, to flow. Each emotion needs to be honored. Once you think you have the emotional root, thank your body for holding space for this to be honored. Reassure the body that you are committed to resolving the issue and ask if your body would like to have you check in again. If yes, ask when. Send a huge dose of love to this part of your body. Then imagine wrapping yourself in a beautiful soft blanket soaked in love. Give your body permission to absorb the healing of love.
Then do some art, writing or whatever process feels good to you to absorb the new information. Process with a friend or professional if needed.
I suggest ending with a positive mantra/statement (or several) to tap into whatever part of the body feels natural to be tapped on (or massaged or held) and do that until you feel peace in all ways. Mantra suggestions: I am grateful for my innate wisdom. I love my body and our memories. I am grateful for being open to discover a layer of myself that deserves healing. I am committed to healing this wound completely. I honor this wound as a part of who I am and I know that I am whole, even with wounds waiting to be healed. My body is a gift. This knowledge is a gift. I am a gift.
Yoga helps me appreciate my body. And it helps my body release old wounds that I do not want to carry around anymore. Regular yoga practice, in a class or by yourself, is a gift to yourself. Stretch gently into healing. Give yourself loving-kindness and freedom from the past. These women inspire me. I am grateful they gift themselves yoga. http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/curvy-girls-nailed-yoga-poses/
This is part 5 of a 7 part series on self-care.

Day 4: The Yoga of Self-Care

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Day 4: The Yoga of Self-Care

1. Always begin with the breath – take it   d e e p   and   s l o w. Your body dances when you breath mindfully.

2. Post your intentions. Sing them, chant them, have FUN with them, do art with them!

3. Make the ACTION LIST. Do the EASY items first.

4. Work through the IMPOSSIBLE.

The items left seem IMPOSSIBLE or they wouldn’t still be waiting for attention. Getting to the root of IMPOSSIBLE will take time, effort, and, emotional attention. Healing these roots will make all the difference in the current situation and create different outcomes in the future. The same old shit won’t trigger you into fear-based thinking. I am cheering you through this shift – it is such a worthwhile journey.

Fear is an awesome manufacturer of procrastination. Likewise, anger can be an awesome springboard for action.

I give you permission to be pissed at the situation or circumstances. Allow the emotions to flow. Just take the piss (and the victim) out of your voice once you are enlisting the help of others. The goal is to navigate this with as much grace and healing as possible, which means how to treat others through this process is important. Keep your civility and integrity intact.

When facing the IMPOSSIBLE, it is time to remember you don’t have to do it alone. In fact, learning how to ask and receive help might be an important lesson for you. It certainly was for me. Now is the time to reach into your toolbox or see a practitioner that can help you find the source of pain, hurt or trauma that is probably at the root of IMPOSSIBLE. For me, Emotional Freedom Technique (aka EFT or Tapping) is a wonderful self-help tool that will take me to the root of my blockage. Use what works for you. I also highly recommend therapy and counseling professionals that can help you navigate shitty times especially if you have PTSD, complex trauma, anxiety disorder, or severe depression. I have a history of all of these and the professionals in my life always helped me pull through. Remember, it is Your Turn to give yourself the experience of courage and freedom using whatever tools make you feel safe and comfortable.

Simple solutions that have used: I made an appointment with a close friend and ask them to be with me during the hard part, whether it was a phone call or appointment. Sometimes all I need is an accountability friend. I ask them to poke me to make sure it got done when I promised it would be done. I have friends that would just let me talk about the possibilities out loud, sometimes giving helpful suggestions, but mostly listening. Talking it through (out loud to yourself even!) can be an important shift. Make a list of trusted professionals, friends, and family members that you can call upon as you navigate this shit storm.

As you read through the IMPOSSIBLE ACTION ITEMS, I have some self-help tools to share:

Where do you feel the tension in your body? What happens if you breath into this space? Use the   d e e p   and   s l o w   breath to open up space in your body and mind to navigate this differently than you have before.

Notice your self-talk during this process. Can it be addressed by one of the new intentions you created?

What personality of fear is showing up right now? Panic, fear, anxiety, overwhelm, frustration, anger, shame, guilt, intimidation? Stretch your body – do any movement that will help your body let go of the physical tension that has been launched. Dance, shake, laugh, walk, run, stretch and be vocal during this process.

If you feel comfortable doing this alone, ask yourself what is the earliest memory you have of feeling just like this. This might be the root of this trigger. Once you have identified a situation (typically from childhood or young adulthood) then start using the tools you know to begin to work through this old hurt. Again, totally cool to work through this with a pro if that feels best.

Journaling is a great tool right now. It can be as simple as a list of how you are feeling. You can send an email to your self or use pen and paper. I believe your body needs for you to acknowledge these feelings and emotions to begin the healing process. Here are some prompts:

This makes me feel ____ or feel like ______ or remember ______
I don’t know why but this word/action/emotion makes me ________
When I think of ______ I hear/smell/taste/feel/see _______
My <body part> hurts and has a message for me ___________

Honor yourself with some yoga. Find a community that takes care of themselves and you will find a community that cares about you.

This is part 4 of a 7 part series on self-care.

Day 3: The Yoga of Self-Care

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Day 3: The Yoga of Self-Care

1. Keep up the   d e e p   and   s l o w   breath work to connect you with your body. Use calming mantras to help bring balance into your body and mind. Practice yoga.

2. Define your intentions using Contrast and Clarity statements. Let these begin to saturate your awareness and open up your energy to a new way of living and being. More yoga.

3. Take action.

Whatever your situation is, chances are that you have some literal action steps to take to find resolution. Make a list of all the things you can think of to help resolve the mess and create a desirable outcome. If you don’t know literally what to do to solve your problem, gather information. Google it – we have so much information at our fingertips. Read up on the topic if it is foreign to you. Call professionals.

I once took advantage of a legal firms free consultation only to have the attorney tell me I didn’t need to hire him because I had done the action steps needed and just needed to continue on the path I had started. I went to see him because I had let self-doubt creep in and decided I should use a pro. I love the integrity of that attorney!

Now that you have your ACTION LIST we are going to use a simple green light, yellow light, and red light system to get them done. Is there one or two that are time sensitive? Prioritize and tackle these first. (Don’t worry if one of these is a red light item, I cover that in the next post.)

Go through the list and highlight or circle all the actions items that are EASY for you literally, emotionally, and mentally. Set up a schedule and choose a reasonable time frame for them to be completed. Do one of these items today to experience success.

Go through the list and highlight or star all the actions items that require a measure of RESOLVE for you to complete. With each item note what the obstacle is: logistical, emotional, mental. Sometimes success on our EASY items make this set of items seem more do-able. Set up a schedule and choose a reasonable time frame for these to be completed.

I know, there are still items on your list. We cover the IMPOSSIBLE tomorrow. For today, stay focused on what you can accomplish.

As you talk to folks that you need to talk to, such as, the banker, the lawyer, the social worker, etc. Be polite, kind, humble, grateful, courteous, and NOT a VICTIM. Lots of situations in life make us feel victimized and I am here to challenge you to not be a victim in the way you to talk to people. Listen to yourself as you talk, be mindful of statements that blame others or lead you to shift responsibility. You will recognize it when you hear it.

You are not a victim anymore. You are taking charge of the situation. Also, do not be self-condemning in your statements, nor shame-based in your language. You are being pro-active now – you deserve to hold your head up during this clean-up process. Intimidation is often projected in shit-storms and you can choose to not be intimidated. Shake it off – don’t allow someone’s judgment of you to enter your head. I will cover strategies that will help you let all of these things go in future posts.

Last, but not least, before you make these phone calls, I am going to suggest you set the intention to forgive yourself for being in this shit-storm. Begin thinking that this is all going to work out and release yourself from those harsh judgments that just cause headaches, stomach upset, inflammation, and a host of other dis-eases.

My experiences with shit-storms have taught me alot about myself and how I grab onto responsibility that is not mine and how I carried shame and guilt with me everywhere. I learned how to allow my fear to just exist and found it helpful to acknowledge it when talking to the person that is assisting me, when appropriate. I way over apologized too – I had so many regrets, but regrets are the contrast – let them go.

I allowed myself to be in the shit-storms of bankruptcy and foreclosure. I say allowed, because I believe that I could have chosen differently and had different outcomes. In the end, neither killed me. In fact, I sold my house and got a bit of the equity. The stress was overwhelming at times, but I would pull back and make a list and do what was EASY to work up the energy to do the IMPOSSIBLE. (We cover the IMPOSSIBLE in the next post.)

Did you find a yoga class yet? Yes? Fantastic! Go again. No? Seriously, get on it. Today is a great day to connect with your Self in the practice of yoga. There are so many types of yoga and thousands of teachers. Did you try it once and not like it? Try it again! A different teacher and a different type can make all the difference. Let yoga be part of your new life.

This is part 3 of a 7 part series on Self-Care. #yourturnchallenge